Weather warning issued as strong wind affects most of UK

The outlook for Friday is windy..

In 2day’s Daily Squirrel Poo, following the recent increase in popularity of brussel sprouts, with record sales being reported in supermarkets, the Met Office has today issued a yellow wind warning, advising that strong winds will affect most of the UK throughout the next few days, with a noticeable peak occurring during Thursday and Friday.

The Met Office released the following statement:
“Just so we are clear, this has absolutely nothing to do with Storm Doris.  A spell of very strong wind is expected to develop on Thursday, with gusts of 80 mph after Friday lunchtime and continuing throughout the night and into Saturday morning.”

“Winds will then ease on Saturday afternoon. Be aware of the potential for some structural damage – as well as disruption to power supplies and travel, with restrictions on smoking cigarettes in most places likely to be strictly enforced.”

Our environment and pollution correspondent had the following advice for sufferers of this cruel side effect of a healthy plateful of brussel sprouts:

“Try to control the fart, so no one can hear it. I suggest sitting on a large cushion, or even going outside into the garden for some fresh air.  Whatever you do, make sure you blame the dog – it’s only fair man’s best friend provides you with an alibi.”

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